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Lovely Words

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we never knew what we got into
hanging onto our tiny thread
taking in our last precious breath
there was nothing left we could do
while keeping hold of our embrace
and I caressed your gentle face
you spoke the words I still hold on to
as you said them like a sweet lullaby
I cried the more you looked me in the eye
you said it will always be just us two
I'll always love you and never let go
you have my heart and it beats so slow
because you calm it with each "I love you"
that voice so soft sent chills up my spine
I'll always be glad that you are mine
because I love you and you love me too




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This article has 4 comments. Post your own!

DanielMThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 7, 2012 at 6:21 pm:
I like your poem. I like how it flows. Great emotion. I also like your ending. And your word choice is good
 
Sparrow replied...
Aug. 7, 2012 at 6:23 pm :
thanks so much :)
 
RolledthestoneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 16 at 11:41 am :
Could work on the title and a bit on the originality. I always like an capturing and original title but this feels a bit too much like poetry I've read before. Try to think of something that plays on words a bit, double meanings you know. Just constructive critisism, don't hate plz.
 
Sparrow replied...
Jan. 16 at 3:34 pm :
no hate. i can always use opinions :)
 
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