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The waves were pounding 'pon the rocks
The thunder boomed away,
And in the troughs the ground was shown
The crests in sky held sway.
Upon the sea there was a ship
With Captain calling out,
To storm and wind and waves and rain—
With tongue he lashed them ‘bout
The tempest paid to him no heed,
Abating not a bit
As on it roared, determined, then
To send him to the Pit.
The Captain steered his wooden craft
Amidst the water walls,
And gazed at beasts surrounding him
As sailed he through the halls.
When finally the tempest paused
To launch another 'tack,
Yelled Captain, “If that's all you've got,
Ye might as well turn back”.
The winds and rain sat huddled up
To make a plan of war,
But saw more fight was futile, just
As it had been before.
And so the storm left o'er the sea
For warmer, trop'cal sun,
To seek out 'mong the sail-ships for
A fight that could be won.
As tempest passed away from sight
And sun returned to smile
The Captain saw a stranger-boat
Away on sea a while.
But as the boat approached his ship,
The Captain made out clear
The sign that every sailor knows,
That fills his heart with fear.
But not the Captain's, brave man he
Though he, too, saw the rag,
That had old Roger smiling down,
Bones crossed upon upon his flag.
When finally that pirate boat
Drew next a-side the ship,
Up stepped the pirate captain man
Prepared to give some lip.
But Captain never gave him chance
For much more than to blink
'Fore Captain turned to his good men
And gave the signal wink.
That Captain knew his en'my well—
Had seen his type before.
He showed no worry counting, then,
The cannons twenty four.
So when he'd called his sailors 'fore
And shared with them his plan
They'd nodded much and pledged their help
Down to the ver' last man.
Now when the Captain gave his wink
His ship's side came awake.
The pirate captain gazing on
In boots began to quake.
The Captain's ship was bristling then
With cannons down below.
Which caref'ly trained their sniper sights
And loosed a great salvo.
But Captain was no wasteful man,
Desired no loss of life.
He sought a way to end the fight
With small as pos'ble strife.
Each cannon's shot sped true and straight,
Toward pirate ship they flew,
Each one into a cannon hole
As snug as sock in shoe.
Aft' pirate ship had been plugged up
With just a single blow,
The Captain, he called 'cross the waves,
Right to his pirate foe.
The Captain bade him come aboard
If himself could he shift.
“For as the Captain, I'm obliged
to give to you a gift.”
So pirate lord swung 'pon a rope
Across the foaming sea.
Then Captain booted him right back
Said “That's for you from me!”
“I give to you a memento
So's next you think to steal,
You'll be dissuaded from your task
When discomfort you feel!”
And so the trounce-ed pirates left
To nurse their injured pride
(Or as did that poor pirate lord,
The bruise on his backside).
Again the Captain faced the sea,
His face as set as stone,
While back behind a foe surfaced:
From depths a fiend unknown.
The mighty beast broke through the waves
And gave a horrid shriek—
Of gruesome shape and hid’ous form,
With poison 'pon its beak,
The monster lunged with eight great arms
To grasp the center mast.
But with his guns the Captain 'leashed
On beast a mighty blast.
The purple fiend let out a scream
Of pain from cannon shot.
And though he sank beneath the waves
His blood was boiling hot.
From down below he came up fast,
With tentacles all set,
Prepared to ram boat's underside.
He'd show that Captain yet!
The Captain's intuition saved
His boat and frightened men—
He heaved the ship to starboard side
Then port, and back again.
The monster broke up through the waves
But badly overshot;
Sailed over boat and Captain too
And hit them, he did not.
The purple tent'cled octopus
Turned eye upon the boat
And made a vow that when he'd done
There'd be none left to float
It made the Captain bothered when
He heard the solemn swear
He'd had a long day, after which
He really didn't care
So he pulled out from 'neath the floor
His nuke-tipped-missile gun.
He pulled the trigger all the way
And out the rocket spun!
While mother washed the dishes 'neath
She heard a dripping sound—
Looked up at ceiling stained by damp,
Saw water 'pon the ground
She marched upstairs severe-ely,
And when she'd found her son
He sat inside an empty tub.
Just laughed at what he'd done.
The little purple octopus
Defeated and alone
Sat on the floor outside the tub
And lay where he'd been throw.
The mother scolded severely;
For wetting the whole floor
She put him straight away to bed
And then she closed the door.
But late that night, she came back in
To gaze upon her child
And watched as he fought pirates off
In sleepy dreamings wild.
She left a kiss upon his brow
And whispered in his ear:
“Good-night, my little Captain son;
Good sailing far and near!”