i am confused. | Teen Ink

i am confused.

October 22, 2011
By Anonymous

I am 16,I am a man;
This world I do not understand.

I sit and stare,sit and stare;
at the world with care.

I am upset,I am mad;
This world makes me hurt,hurt so bad.

I sit and hurt,sit and hurt;
tears from my eyes flow to my shirt.

I am stupid,I am dumb;
I always knew this day would come.

I sit and cry,sit and cry;
why did he have to die?

I am a waste,I am a bother;
were these the thoughts of my father?

I sit and think,sit and think;
I think so hard, I forget to blink.

I am special,I am gay;
is that why he left last May?

I sit and breath,sit and breath;
he died because he hated me?

I am puzzled,I am confused;
pills and alcohol he abused.

I sit and cut,sit and cut;
slitting my wrists,I feel like a nut.

I am needing help,I am needing love;
this is what I ask God above.

I sit and bleed,sit and bleed;
I wait for help and pray the Creed.

I am alone,I am bleeding a lot;
my stomach turns into a knot.

I sit and wait,sit and wait;
Will God bring me to his gate?

I feel his presence, in my chest.

He leads me, and tells me what is best.

He doesn't want me to give up.

I am glad,I am at peace.


The author's comments:
I want people to feel the hurt the boy does when he confronts the death of his father. Although this poem is completely fictional, the character is meant to represent any person who is lost in this, at most times, depressing world.

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