Subtle Death

August 7, 2011
My inner child was miscarried
In the yard of yesterday
Even the infant knew
That its birth was overdue
As it lay there, wailing, in the clay

The godmother’s eyes rolled quite freely
When she had taken all for lost
Her face swallowed by her wrinkled hands
Her fingertips laced with moss

The constellations were obscured by clouds
The flowers wilting with a hush
As winter stroked their pretty petals
Which had only begun to blush

The rebel laid his allegorical sword
At the feet of the theoretical king
The abbot invited his bell to sound
But could never hear it ring

I had waited for life
And also for death
All the while, testing my knife
With the heat of my breath

I thought “perhaps I shall be slain”
But my butcher judged by the weather-
That this simply wasn’t the day
So I suppose I will sit here in the gentle rain
Contented to decay





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IamtheshyStargirl said...
Aug. 12, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Ah, so the raven has darkness in him afterall. 

I don't know why, but there is something satisfying about darkness that seems to be lacking in light. it creates balance, I suppose. 

To answer your question, I am feeling better than I was earlier. I am not worried about losing myself. 

How are you feeling today? Or, better yet, how were you feeling when you wrote this poem?

 
IamtheshyStargirl replied...
Aug. 22, 2011 at 8:03 pm

Nobody seems to understand anymore, no one seems to even want to. The good teachers are worn down by the system, as are the soulful kids, it is the only the power and control hungry people who prevail. 

(There is something I want to tell you, do you want to hear it? It concerns dreaming.)

 
savetheplanet replied...
Aug. 22, 2011 at 8:46 pm
Hmm, but names have power.
 
IamtheshyStargirl replied...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Only if you give it to them, and there's much more to every person than their name. 

Public school never has been too big on thinking, my mom says. I guess that's why I'm homeschooled. 

 
savetheplanet replied...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 5:35 pm
Why shouldn't you give names power?
 
IamtheshyStargirl replied...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 5:46 pm
Well why should you?
 
savetheplanet replied...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 5:53 pm
Because otherwise names are meaningless.
 
IamtheshyStargirl replied...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Aaaaaannnnd I still say there's more to a person than just their name.

And the context in which the name has power thing was used on Raven was vindictive and domineering.

 
savetheplanet replied...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 5:56 pm
There's more to a person than a name, I never said different, only that names are important.
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Ah, well, Stargirl; there must always (at least, in this place) be moments that make our hearts ache, that's what gives us depth. I do not know how the world got this way, or exactly how we can change it, but (as the Raven said not too long ago), we can still put on our festive hats and dance away the gray.

You do have the words, dear. Perhaps there are times when you don't have to open your mouth to say them, but I can hear them if I listen properly. :)

 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 6:44 pm
We are assigned our names. They are not us, unless we make them ourselves. You can grow to love a name, or to hate it. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if we all chose our own names. As you both seem to be saying, we are much more than our names.
 
IamtheshyStargirl replied...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 7:30 pm

That is good advice, I will take it to heart heartily :) Maybe that's the solutution, to dance away the gray at every opportunity. Ah, wisest of friends, perhaps you have stumbled upon one of the, if not the key/s to the universe.

I wrote in my journal yesterday that the words are buried deep within my heart. And perhaps if I listen hard enough, I can hear them too. 

I named myself. 

 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 12:00 pm

If this indeed is the key which I have sitting quietly in my pocket, touching it lightly with a tentative finger, then it was not stumbled upon, but handed to me by... who? The midnight blue sky? My mother and father? Some messenger of a chickadee?

And as a result of this self-naming, you know who you are more than most people that I know. :)

I, by the way, sign off my every journal entry with the name which you gave me: the Story Weaver.

 
IamtheshyStargirl replied...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Maybe all? Or some unknown and unnamed thing yet to be discovered.

Your parents must be wonderful beings. 

I have had more time than anyone I know to figure our who I am. 

Oh, I don't know what to say, or how to say it. You will understand anyway :)

 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Understand and smile, all the while. :)
 
Aderes18 said...
Aug. 12, 2011 at 8:53 pm

You know, if you used this poem as an inspiration as a novel, I think it would be a fantastic book!

Great poem! Again, I'm a big fan of your poetry and you are a fantastic poet! :) 

 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Really? A novel? Perhaps I will follow up with that suggestion!

I'm so very grateful, Aderes.

 
Aderes18 replied...
Aug. 14, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Yeah, when you get older and send it to a real publishing company! 

Actually, I think you should try to use most of your poems as an inspiration for something bigger, after all, this is just a first step! 

 
savetheplanet replied...
Aug. 14, 2011 at 11:44 pm
I like the third to last stanza the best, it's quite philisophical altogether this poem!
 
Aderes18 replied...
Aug. 15, 2011 at 2:39 pm
I agree! 
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 6:41 pm
I tip my hat to you, Liz. Cheers! Philosophical is my middle name. ;)
 
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