Here Today

January 12, 2011
By , Riverside, RI
one a.m. and i’m wide awake,
at home and all alone,
the minutes ticking by peacefully
but feeling like endless hours,
cutting me right to the bone.

it feels like years since she called,
everyone is gone now,
and i’m all by myself
wishing i could call someone to
stay with me,
someone to hug me and
guide me to see
it’ll be okay again.

i hold myself together best i can,
because i don’t know what happened-
they’d tell me if they could.
but leaving in the middle of the night
can never be good.

i wrap the blankets around me
and try not to cry,
waiting for the phone call,
waiting for the final answer:
live or die.

i let my mind roll back
on all the past,
you being sick, all the close calls,
the days we were sure were the
last.

this time it might be.

praying for one more time,
please god give him
one more chance, one more try;
just a little more time,
please don’t let him die.

give him the chance to see
my graduation, his next birthday;
maybe someday i’ll be married,
let him see my children,
let me have those memories with him.

the phone finally rings, and…

thank you, you didn’t take him yet;
i don’t know when,
but the end is near…

i don’t know if jesus is calling you,
but i don’t question god,
he has his way; and
i thank him that you’re
here today.





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