Faint

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Sometimes when you kiss me
I can still hear the words she used to say
Even when you whisper, “I love you”
I think of how she could have stayed
And though you say it
And though I’ve sometimes portrayed
A simple smile beneath the covers
A promising conversation for all that mother
Talk
It’s all broken within
A final drive
A final spin
The ride, I take, only for what it’s worth
A kiss in the night
Thrown in the hearth
And stirred in my fire
Though you have not a clue of my desire
For her to come back into my life
For you, to give up all that wife
Talk

I can still hear the faint music
Playing in her car
That we used to listen to on nighttime drives
Beneath the stars

And though you mean it
And though I know you do
It’s only a cliché
“I love you”
And sometimes
Under the covers
I can feel her pillow
Smother
My whole into a nest
My heart beneath my chest
My body smothered into the rest
And I twist
And I turn
For I long to see
A smile, directed at me

I loved you once
But I never loved you at all
Because she was always the one
I saw watching from the walls
Behind the paint
And when I faint
Deep back into the life, I had once known
A simple boy
Until that simple phone
Call
When I had been informed
She had packed her bags
And left me torn

The light comes back into day
The dark, back into night
And you tell me, “Kiss me”
And I whisper back, “Alright”

Beneath the covers
And beyond the rain
I once loved you
But now never the same





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