Ultimate Low

Today is another day, the same as always, an ultimate low.
I have no idea what you’re thinking when you look at me,
But I wish you knew how much I’d give up to know.
People always tell me it’ll work out, there’s no reason to be scared.
But I’m terrified of what you’ll think if I let my feelings show.

You weren’t part of my ambitions, you were never part of my plan.
I never intended to like you like this, and I’m still not sure why I do.
But every time I see you, my stomach does flips and summersaults
and you can’t see, I’m clearly trying to hide secrets from you.

They tell me to be confident, and undeniably fearless.
I wish things were so much easier, maybe I’d let myself try.
I’m sick of not being confident enough to tell you,
But I’m so afraid of rejection from you, your limit is too high.

You have no idea what my restless nights are filled with.
And when I finally start to doze of, I’m crying myself to sleep.
Being happy with myself and who I am isn’t just something I want.
This is what I’m waiting for, it’s something I desperately need.

Everyday it seems to be that I’m more and more alone
When I’m surrounded by countless dozens of people.
All I want more than anything, is to feel adored and wanted.
And one of these distant days, maybe even beautiful.

I love my friends and family more than life, more than me.
But anymore all it feels like is that I’m never enough,
I want to know, I want to be one hundred percent sure,
For once, I just need to know what it’s like to be loved.
Today is another day, the same as always, an ultimate low.





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