Make Believe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

We were doomed from the beginning,
Blinded from the start,
But nothing can be done
To fool a happy heart.
With each smile and giggle,
Every embrace and every kiss,
We were shooting toward a happy ending,
And we missed.
Cinderella lost her slipper
And it was never found.
Prince Charming came too late,
Now no one’s sleeping sound.
Pillows are soaking wet,
Hopes are all lost.
No more dancing in the clouds.
Dreams have all been tossed.
The fairy-tale warmth has left us
As winter’s setting in.
The storybook reads the end,
But where should we begin?
Now your heart strives to be broken,
And you long for lonely nights
This time our ship is sinking
We’re going down without a fight.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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This article has 192 comments. Post your own now!

Josie said...
Nov. 12, 2008 at 5:32 pm
a comment to shane whatever this poem was so nice your just jealous you can't come up with one better
tweedle dee said...
Nov. 12, 2008 at 1:42 pm
great poem i loved it and dont listen to anyone the repition was a good idea! there was only one part where the rythm was off but that was it. keep writting!
tragiclovestory07 said...
Oct. 12, 2008 at 11:56 pm
this is a really great poem.. sadly it reminds me of the person that I happen to be dating and our relationship right now
DorkyGirl1 said...
Oct. 7, 2008 at 1:58 am
Really great, I loved it!
SJH17 said...
Sept. 4, 2008 at 7:07 pm
This Poem Is Simply Amazing And Very Truthful..
in_deep_thought said...
Aug. 31, 2008 at 6:08 am
great poem. i liike how it opens your eyes on how not everything will go ur way and like it or not were all living with it.
elaine901 said...
Aug. 26, 2008 at 2:36 am
oh my gosh i really like this one! i love the rhythm and the way it flows. it's so good! keep writing :)
Hallieinthewings said...
Aug. 22, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Sometimes repetition can be a good thing, expressing the same idea in different ways can help others understand the idea better.
I liked it.
Shane_Zeh_Banderbear said...
Aug. 14, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Ahhh, a sad love poem. =( It was pretty good.

It's a bit repetitive though. You're expressing an idea in one line, then you express the SAME idea in another, but in a different way. I would fix that. If you do that, it might be cut in half, but it'd still give out the point effectively. Also, try focusing the image, or using stanzas for diff. images.

Other then a bit more organization and repititon, the ideas were good, and the writing was nice. Good job
faceless said...
Aug. 6, 2008 at 10:08 pm
anything that causes a little thinking is good. many of the op-eds, poems talk about genocide, injustice, and rage against the government which isn't art and it doesn't signify anything special about the writer. But at least this juxtaposes the childhood motif of fairy tales with the ubiquitous "teenink" pessimism to be a little artsy. Thank you.
dylan. said...
Aug. 6, 2008 at 5:20 am
This really is a great poem. I loved it!
kamaria said...
Aug. 7, 2008 at 2:07 am
this is really nice// i enjoyed reading it//
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