Forget Ginkgo MAG

By Arthur Gutnov, Chicago, IL

Media promises fast cars, big dreams
But my G.I. Joe Kung Fu grip can’t grasp
The toy soldier thought platoons and war teams
Fighting doubts with synaptic head gun rasp.

Pip Pip poetry pops Prozac, late night
Red Bulls, red eyes, chemical concentrate.
Scratch scratch poetry writes real dreams, night-light
Soft-says to fatigued pupils: “dilate.”

Ain’t no yesterday no more, miss dolly
The city sponge absorbed our memories,
Blew, like dandelions, our teenage folly,
and tore blank pages from our diaries.

This lifestyle paints the neon moral boat
We sail away from “the before” we wrote.

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This article has 7 comments.

on Mar. 25 2016 at 11:55 am
niciolah SILVER, South Riding, Virginia
5 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Whoever has ears, let them hear." Matthew 13:9

Your rhythm and wordplay are absolutely breathtaking; this would make a fabulous SLAM poem, the words feel like they need to flow and jump off the page! You should take a swing at spoken word poetry if you haven't already!

on Apr. 27 2014 at 7:16 am
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
5 articles 0 photos 266 comments
I didn't really get it either but it was still well-written and  i really like it :)

on Dec. 26 2010 at 9:33 pm
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
34 articles 2 photos 659 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing."
--Markus Zusak, "The Book Thief"

Wow, maybe I'm just tired, but this made absolutely no sense to me. I loved it anyway! C:

Marlyre said...
on Aug. 16 2010 at 9:08 pm
sry my computer was being stupid... two critiques for the price of one?

Marlyre said...
on Aug. 16 2010 at 9:05 pm
nice rhythm, totally get where your coming form as a writer... read some of mine?

Marlyre said...
on Aug. 16 2010 at 9:04 pm
nice rhythm, totally been there... being a writer sometimes feels like a full time job! read some of mine?

on Sep. 22 2009 at 2:32 pm
Grania PLATINUM, Portland, Maine
33 articles 0 photos 79 comments
This is a meaningful poem with a good, consistant rhythm and good images. I really like your use of alliteration, as well. Keep up the good work!


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