August 7, 2010
By jameSGONZALES BRONZE, Rowland Heights, California
jameSGONZALES BRONZE, Rowland Heights, California
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Should I be mad at me that you’re fading away?
Feeling guilty about voices that turn to echoes
Losing memories and forgetting what you used to say
Scared to say I'm forgetting and refuse to disclose
Voices barely lingering off from the lonely 4-cornered house
Not understanding why fading made a parent become a single spouse
Trying to remember the memories imprinted in photography
Learning to walk around in your faded geography
Plants that were planted fade by the next winters
But fading heartaches just leaves splinters
I feel that its wrong that I still don’t cry
Now forcing myself to cry
Like it’s a misconduct that you’re fading
Fading like the sun fades into the golden hills
Little recollections give slight chills
Not understanding why I am feeling better
Like I deserve to be a dying street beggar
Wishing that you didn't fade
Like a fresh piece of grass; a glade
Fresh memories do not exist
The smell of you on your clothes is missed
The sound of your voice goes off into the distance
Time goes on without conscience
Am I to blame for the fading?
Feeling I should be sad and commiserating
Clock keeps ticking with each second past
Forgetting the life that already passed
The life I once new was joyous and free
But sweet recollections now fade from me
Sweet sorrow fades along too
Painfully regretting my depression is coming to a fade
Happiness enters and still afraid
Fading makes me forget you
Shouldn’t I still hate life and not want anew
I deserve to feel sad because you are gone
Wanting to see you anon
Life keeps moving and keeps memories fading
Not knowing weather my heart should still be aching
Wishing to undo this painful regret and self-hate
That forgetting you and the memories you did create
The end of forgetting is to be continued
Forgetting is what I really argued
Regretting of forgetting, omitting, and disremembering
Hopefully wishing for the pain of fading and wanting not to forget to stop searing.

The author's comments:
This was about my mom. Who the pain of her death made me want to forget but her memory and her wanting never to forget. But fading takes it away

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