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You Can't See

Take a look. Just one. Take one long look at me.
Open your eyes. Just a little. Tell me what you see.
My smile, sure. My polo shirt. My curly blonde hair that falls
Far down past my shoulders. You think you've seen it all.
If you look a little harder, you'd be able to tell me smile's
Calculated and controlled, when it should be carefree and wide.
Now, boy, look up at my eyes. They're hazel, by the way.
You wouldn't know 'cause you never look, but they don't shine as much these days.
Take a breath. Just one. Listen… maybe you can hear
The ripping of my heart, or the drip-drops of my tears.





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This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

insaneprincess said...
Jun. 7, 2010 at 10:06 pm
I love this so much! It's absolutely incredible. You have talent !  I would love if you had a look at some of my work ; thanks ! :D 
 
maybeshannon replied...
Jun. 7, 2010 at 10:36 pm
haha thanks =] did you see amy of my others?? most of em are about the same guy actually just different times of the relationshipp. and ohkayy will do ;]
 
insaneprincess replied...
Jun. 8, 2010 at 8:27 pm
Thanks soo much! and not yet - but i will deifnately have a look ! :) 
 
Jessne said...
Jun. 3, 2010 at 6:51 pm
O my god. I absolutly L-O-V-E this poem! It really moves me! Great job!
 
LeilaniLives replied...
Jun. 4, 2010 at 8:16 am
Beautiful. It was misleading throughout the story, maybe you should have foreshadowed a little, show the reader what we were looking into... other than that, job well done.
 
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