The Search

December 31, 2009
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When I was just a little girl, I dreamt the things that young girls do:
Of playing house, of having tea, of wearing a pretty dress or two.
The dreams of one who does not know that real life can hold so much pain;
Dreams so innocent, so pure and light: A feeling I wish I could have again

How do we lose our way in life? How do we find so much despair?
How do we find our way back home? Can we relearn the need to share?
To be alone in this cold world is not a thought that brings much joy,
But often choices that we make do little more than just annoy

Who can I blame for all the turmoil that my life turned out to be?
Who can I blame for all the confusion? Who can I blame? Only me.
So I must do my best to search my heart for what I have lost,
And if I'm honest with myself, I'll find contentment without much cost.

Happiness is not a gift that can be given: It must be found.
It's something that's deep within you, and when you find it, your heart will resound
With a sound of fulfillment, a song hope, a song a relief to have finally achieved
A feeling of closure and self-awareness almost too wonderful to be believed.

And so my journey has begun to become to "me" I want to be,
To regain the girlish pleasure lost, to once again feel carefree.
These written words are my vow, my promise from me to my soul:
I will obtain the end I'm seeking, and when I do, my heart will be whole.

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