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Desire so Despicable

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These sweet delusions that I keep
The total brokenness that I seek
The way my feet don’t touch the floor
I know I can’t run anymore

Total ruin in my wake
Only so much I can take
Love so hard to find
I left it—left it all behind

Ambiguous and inexplicable
The desire so despicable
Can’t go back in time
Now my heart is only mine

How can I be alone with everyone?
By myself and surrounded by no one?
It is a failing all my own
Yet I keep dreaming of futures unknown

I keep pushing it all away
Begging for anyone to stay
Hold me tight
I will be alright.





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