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Jack and Jill Revisited

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Jack and Jill went up a hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

It started out a normal day
They met outside the fence
They knew not that today would bring
A tragedy at their expense.

Below them was a grat expanse
They could see for miles around
“Look, there’s the hill with the well!”
Jill yelled as the started down.

They finally made it to the well
By then the skies wee gray
The two looked worriedly at the sky
They must hurry back today.

Bushes and trees surrounded the well
And as the lightening did strike
A man in black jumped out at them
Holding a sharp pointed knife.

He swiftly stabbed Jack in the heart
And as Jill said goodbye
She looked into the eyes of the man
And knew she was going to die.

The man took Jack into his arms
And threw him down the hill
And with her last ragged breath
Quickly followed Jill.

Jack and Jill went up a hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.





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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

PickledTacos said...
Jul. 10, 2016 at 10:40 pm
This is so great!!
 
LoudDreamer said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 4:31 pm
Oh my gosh..... This is scary, but good. Its SCARY GOOD! There are some spelling problems, and there are some rough spots flow-wise, but the wierdest is that they went DOWN a hill to go UP a hill to fetch a pail or water. Weird, and I was stuck there on there on the third stanza because of it. But this has set my mind wandering, Im probably not going to be able to rest til I've rewritten three or four nursery rhymes/fairy tales to inclued this black figure. I love it and I'm gonna give you 5/5 d... (more »)
 
LoudDreamer replied...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Heart, not Heath, The poem is called the Haunted Heart.* sorry about that!
 
starsandotherthings said...
Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:42 am
this was strange but wonderful.... i never thought of it that way
 
nickykens This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 1, 2010 at 4:54 pm
Kinda creepily morbid, but fantastic!
 
Jaquie This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 10, 2009 at 6:24 pm
This is amazing! I've never heard the story described in such a way! I love it!
God bless,
...,
 
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