Touring the East Coast

Let’s see what I find

Leaving my days

As a Viking behind

With so many options

Don’t know how I’ll choose

Between suite-style dorms

And Lake Michigan views

Raindrops or snowflakes?

“Depends where you’re living

But wherever you go

Freezing cold is a given.”

“Scholarships? Sure,

But no aid based on merit.”

A $60k bill,

Just two parents to share it!

“We’re truly a home

We collaborate here

Of course to get in,

You should crush all your peers.”

“Your GPA’s 4?

Well, our average is 8

If you don’t go ED,

You’re already too late!”

“If these jaw-dropping stats

Got you feeling dejected,

Don’t worry save that

For the day you’re rejected.”

“Did your mother go here?

No? Then must be your Father,

If not, that’s too bad

Honey, don’t even bother!”

Gosh I can’t wait

For my senior year,

For the pain and the stress

And the crippling fear

So now that I’ve heard

What these schools are about,

Here’s my early decision:

I’m dropping out!