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Gravity


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I fall. I climb. I climb and I fall.
But I climb to fall.
I build so I can watch what I make crumble to pieces.
I watch the sand sift through my open fingers.
I let the wave claim my castle as its own.
I let it all come down on me, earth and ocean.
I have just enough power to watch myself fail,
Just enough hope to let my dreams die in my arms,
Over and over.
I am gravity and I pull everything down.



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OreozzThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 1 at 5:29 pm:
This has TRULY touched my heart!! It is beautiful and I can not say as to how this has touched me!!! It is like you took EXACTLY how I feel and put it in words!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!
 
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mickeymouse said...
May 1 at 2:31 pm:
When I read your poem I liked how you used cliche in your writing to say that you are actually doing that. I also liked how you used figuative language to say that you were gravity.
 
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NOLDEG said...
May 1 at 10:37 am:
This is a very good poem with personification.  I could relate to each of the verses which made it all the better.
 
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why do u care said...
May 1 at 8:12 am:
I like the metaphor and hyperbole. I like the hyperboe the to let my dreams die in my arms.
 
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CreativeAngelThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 9 at 6:22 pm:
I love the meaning of the poem and how deep it is. Just an awesome poem.
 
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SwagGuy101This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 1:23 am:

This was great, very deep thinking.

Please look at mine and give me advice, anyone.

-Comment from a guy with swag

 
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raindance72This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 6:52 pm:

Simplistic yet so complex in meaning! Love it, great work.

Also, I haven't been getting much feedback on my work. Would love to have others check out my poems, "Butterflies" and "Falling" :)

 
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kairi.kaylynThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 10:58 am:
Not sure what this means but its wonderful!
 
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doublebubble22 said...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 5:43 pm:
I think it's beautiful and deep. Good job!
 
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Chantelle G. said...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 1:35 pm:
I've read every single one of your poems. You're very talented.
 
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irishlass317This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 6:51 am:
Oh my goodness I looooooooooove it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! very, very good!!!!!!!
 
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Kayte said...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 4:34 pm:

 

This is amazing!! Describes my life beautifully. Keep it up!

 
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DecemberStar27This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 2:43 pm:
I love this poem! It makes me think about the way I've treated my self!
 
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noname37014This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 24, 2011 at 8:01 am:
This is a really nice poem! Subtle, but still understandable.
 
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Mariah_0.0This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 2, 2011 at 2:50 pm:
I liked it, it's a really good piece
 
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poet aulakh said...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 9:10 pm:
it is well described to hope and desperation
 
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EllimeeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 12:01 pm:
If anyone says you're an OK writer, show them this piece and watch their eyes widen and jaws drop. This is awsum!
 
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IamtheshyStargirlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 3:29 pm:

All of my words are gone today; there is poetry in my heart, but it does not translate well in the open air, the words are born transluscent white and empty, no subatance, no weight.

All I can think to say is 'Wow'. You have described Gravity's voice perfectly.

 
IamtheshyStargirlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 3:29 pm :
subatance = Substence.
 
RisibleThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 2, 2011 at 8:27 am :
beautifully said IamtheshyStargirl, love the imagery 
 
IamtheshyStargirlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 3, 2011 at 11:36 am :
Haha, thankee kindly :)
 
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ElleNicole said...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 11:14 am:

This is amazing. Simply amazing.

Hey, would you mind checking out and rating my poem 'Change'? Thanks if you do. =)

 
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RanaHewezi1998 said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 10:33 pm:

that's so sad :( but wonderfully written.

 

 
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Shyzilla said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 9:10 pm:
its so honest which makes it in my opinos extrememly welll written..awesome work
 
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DrownedHopesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 5:21 pm:
W O W . It almost as though you took my journal && turned it into beautiful , yet powerful words . Thank you for being my hero today .
 
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K.M.S.Shear said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 8:20 am:
love th way you describe gravity
 
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Echinacea8This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 15, 2011 at 5:18 pm:
this has to be one of my favorite poems I've read on this website.
 
di k replied...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 10:16 am :
yes! mine too! I am a writer as well. the way you described gravity was crystal clear and beautiful!!
 
DisicpleofChristandJesusEnthusiastThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 3:35 pm :

Yes, I have to agree. The way you described it was beautiful. AMAZING!

 

 
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H0peF1ames said...
May 15, 2011 at 4:07 pm:
Nice use of repetition and a very powerful ending and beginning!
 
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angehuertas27 said...
May 15, 2011 at 2:02 pm:
amazing love the words u put in great job!
 
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TheWickedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 23, 2011 at 10:49 pm:
This is very beautifully wriiten. Keep writing!
 
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luvsoccer3000 said...
Apr. 23, 2011 at 2:40 pm:
wow......words cannot describe how much i love this poem, truly amazing
 
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caedanse said...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 9:56 pm:
Positively mind blowing~ excellent work!
 
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Acalleq This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 1, 2011 at 3:35 pm:

wow, thats so true, i always catch myself failing before i even try. keep it real, ur poem is true to the bone

 

 

 
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lala15 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 1, 2011 at 8:57 am:
this is such a deep poem--how did it not make the mag?
 
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swimmergirlie13 said...
Apr. 1, 2011 at 8:27 am:
that was an awesome poem!!! love it!!! keep writing!
 
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his_country_girl said...
Apr. 1, 2011 at 7:40 am:
you did amazing! :)
 
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chevyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 6:33 pm:
words can not describe what you have done here. simply amazing!
 
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ashleynThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 2:59 pm:
I LOVE IT! I especially liked how you made the whole thing into a similie at the end...wonderfully done. Great job!
 
JMThe-one replied...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 8:53 pm :
Metaphor. Not a simile. JS. Not trying to be pretentious. 
 
ashleynThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 11, 2011 at 11:36 am :
Ha ha yeah you're right...sorry I guess I should have paid more attention to it... (:
 
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CountryGothicThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 2:30 pm:
Wonderfully written with a lovely flow and truth to it...I sure hope the self-sabotage is not happening to you for you are too good for that...this is a beautifully constructed poem. :)
 
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writerenchanted said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 10:44 am:
This is such a pretty and amazing work of art!;) Keep up the good work.
 
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Coleyy said...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 10:02 pm:
amazingg! i really like your word choice, it flows really well and says a lot :)
 
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$parky14 said...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 5:59 pm:
That was beautiful and inspiring, you make it sound like Gravity is a person, a selfless, ever-moving person.=]
 
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Bookworm7 said...
Jan. 31, 2011 at 9:02 pm:
Your poem was absolutely intriguing and flowed nicely. I think that from the beginning to the end of the poem I was interested. It's great you really should write more.
 
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Medina D. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 26, 2011 at 4:44 pm:
this was short and meaningful and jaw-dropping and eye-glueing and beautiful and precious and better then any poem i could ever write and *deep breathe* DONT STOP WRITING!!!
 
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shreya756 said...
Jan. 25, 2011 at 11:22 pm:
When I finished reading this, the only word that left my lips was 'WOW.' 
 
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weaselkiesel said...
Jan. 25, 2011 at 12:16 pm:
I really like the beginning, how you used the same phrases over and over. Good job!
 
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