April 5, 2009
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I fall. I climb. I climb and I fall.
But I climb to fall.
I build so I can watch what I make crumble to pieces.
I watch the sand sift through my open fingers.
I let the wave claim my castle as its own.
I let it all come down on me, earth and ocean.
I have just enough power to watch myself fail,
Just enough hope to let my dreams die in my arms,
Over and over.
I am gravity and I pull everything down.

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Oreozz said...
May 1, 2012 at 5:29 pm
This has TRULY touched my heart!! It is beautiful and I can not say as to how this has touched me!!! It is like you took EXACTLY how I feel and put it in words!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!
mickeymouse said...
May 1, 2012 at 2:31 pm
When I read your poem I liked how you used cliche in your writing to say that you are actually doing that. I also liked how you used figuative language to say that you were gravity.
NOLDEG said...
May 1, 2012 at 10:37 am
This is a very good poem with personification.  I could relate to each of the verses which made it all the better.
why do u care said...
May 1, 2012 at 8:12 am
I like the metaphor and hyperbole. I like the hyperboe the to let my dreams die in my arms.
CreativeAngel said...
Apr. 9, 2012 at 6:22 pm
I love the meaning of the poem and how deep it is. Just an awesome poem.
SwagGuy101 said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 1:23 am

This was great, very deep thinking.

Please look at mine and give me advice, anyone.

-Comment from a guy with swag

raindance72 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Simplistic yet so complex in meaning! Love it, great work.

Also, I haven't been getting much feedback on my work. Would love to have others check out my poems, "Butterflies" and "Falling" :)

kairi.kaylyn said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 10:58 am
Not sure what this means but its wonderful!
doublebubble22 said...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 5:43 pm
I think it's beautiful and deep. Good job!
Chantelle G. said...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 1:35 pm
I've read every single one of your poems. You're very talented.
irishlass317 said...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 6:51 am
Oh my goodness I looooooooooove it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! very, very good!!!!!!!
Kayte said...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 4:34 pm


This is amazing!! Describes my life beautifully. Keep it up!

DecemberStar27 said...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 2:43 pm
I love this poem! It makes me think about the way I've treated my self!
noname37014 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 24, 2011 at 8:01 am
This is a really nice poem! Subtle, but still understandable.
Mariah_0.0 said...
Sept. 2, 2011 at 2:50 pm
I liked it, it's a really good piece
poet aulakh said...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 9:10 pm
it is well described to hope and desperation
Ellimee said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 12:01 pm
If anyone says you're an OK writer, show them this piece and watch their eyes widen and jaws drop. This is awsum!
IamtheshyStargirl said...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 3:29 pm

All of my words are gone today; there is poetry in my heart, but it does not translate well in the open air, the words are born transluscent white and empty, no subatance, no weight.

All I can think to say is 'Wow'. You have described Gravity's voice perfectly.

IamtheshyStargirl replied...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 3:29 pm
subatance = Substence.
Risible replied...
Sept. 2, 2011 at 8:27 am
beautifully said IamtheshyStargirl, love the imagery 
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