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Gravity

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I fall. I climb. I climb and I fall.
But I climb to fall.
I build so I can watch what I make crumble to pieces.
I watch the sand sift through my open fingers.
I let the wave claim my castle as its own.
I let it all come down on me, earth and ocean.
I have just enough power to watch myself fail,
Just enough hope to let my dreams die in my arms,
Over and over.
I am gravity and I pull everything down.



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Oreozz said...
May 1, 2012 at 5:29 pm:
This has TRULY touched my heart!! It is beautiful and I can not say as to how this has touched me!!! It is like you took EXACTLY how I feel and put it in words!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!
 
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mickeymouse said...
May 1, 2012 at 2:31 pm:
When I read your poem I liked how you used cliche in your writing to say that you are actually doing that. I also liked how you used figuative language to say that you were gravity.
 
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NOLDEG said...
May 1, 2012 at 10:37 am:
This is a very good poem with personification.  I could relate to each of the verses which made it all the better.
 
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why do u care said...
May 1, 2012 at 8:12 am:
I like the metaphor and hyperbole. I like the hyperboe the to let my dreams die in my arms.
 
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CreativeAngel said...
Apr. 9, 2012 at 6:22 pm:
I love the meaning of the poem and how deep it is. Just an awesome poem.
 
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SwagGuy101 said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 1:23 am:

This was great, very deep thinking.

Please look at mine and give me advice, anyone.

-Comment from a guy with swag

 
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raindance72 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 6:52 pm:

Simplistic yet so complex in meaning! Love it, great work.

Also, I haven't been getting much feedback on my work. Would love to have others check out my poems, "Butterflies" and "Falling" :)

 
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kairi.kaylynThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 10:58 am:
Not sure what this means but its wonderful!
 
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doublebubble22This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 5:43 pm:
I think it's beautiful and deep. Good job!
 
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Chantelle G. said...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 1:35 pm:
I've read every single one of your poems. You're very talented.
 
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irishlass317This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 6:51 am:
Oh my goodness I looooooooooove it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! very, very good!!!!!!!
 
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Kayte said...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 4:34 pm:

 

This is amazing!! Describes my life beautifully. Keep it up!

 
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DecemberStar27 said...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 2:43 pm:
I love this poem! It makes me think about the way I've treated my self!
 
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noname37014 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 24, 2011 at 8:01 am:
This is a really nice poem! Subtle, but still understandable.
 
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Mariah_0.0 said...
Sept. 2, 2011 at 2:50 pm:
I liked it, it's a really good piece
 
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poet aulakh said...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 9:10 pm:
it is well described to hope and desperation
 
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Ellimee said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 12:01 pm:
If anyone says you're an OK writer, show them this piece and watch their eyes widen and jaws drop. This is awsum!
 
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IamtheshyStargirl said...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 3:29 pm:

All of my words are gone today; there is poetry in my heart, but it does not translate well in the open air, the words are born transluscent white and empty, no subatance, no weight.

All I can think to say is 'Wow'. You have described Gravity's voice perfectly.

 
IamtheshyStargirl replied...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 3:29 pm :
subatance = Substence.
 
Risible replied...
Sept. 2, 2011 at 8:27 am :
beautifully said IamtheshyStargirl, love the imagery 
 
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