A toast! to the Church where we spent our youth--
Break body, drink blood, and question it not;
Fall not to temptation, and tell no false truths,
But sing praises of saints whose good deeds we’ve forgot.
Teach children to serve, from birth until death,
An invisible God in whose hands rests our fate--
“Salvation is simple--in ten easy steps!”
Love thy neighbor--‘til it becomes Christian to hate.
Sure, Jesus was Jewish and died for our lies,
A refugee fleeing oppressive regimes,
But no one reads scripture with literal eyes -
(Except as a crutch for our bigoted schemes.)
We promise to serve the poor, meek, and in need,
So hand us your wallets--the Lord deals in cash,
And then we’ll indulge in our God-serving greed,
Falling to the fire like palms into ash.
Now shoulder your burdens and take up your cross,
And do it for Him--no matter the cost.