March 26, 2018
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I am confused and deranged
I wonder what normal really is
I hear everyone laughing as I fade into the background
I see others being themselves as I sit in the clouds being fake
I want to be ApArT of their lives, their normal
I am confused and deranged

I pretend normal has always been in my vocabulary
I feel the fire of truth dancing and the water of lies falling
I touch the puddles of normal
I worry that everyone will see through my facade of weird
I cry for every scar, self-inflicted, made just wanting to fit in
I am confused and deranged

I understand everyone is different but,
I say, “I don’t want to be me anymore
“I dream to fit in, to be normal, to be worthwhile.”
I try with everything I am to be liked by you,
I hope that someday I realise my fight for normal is futile...
I am confused and deranged

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