Reaching New Heights

March 14, 2018
By SarahGrooms BRONZE, Salisbury, North Carolina
SarahGrooms BRONZE, Salisbury, North Carolina
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I’ve always been afraid of heights
Never being able to enjoy the sights
That Rollercoasters, Skyscrapers,
Maybe even escalators
Would offer
I was particularly intimidated by
The swing ride at the fair
Wondering how pleasure could be found
Up in the air, with tangled hair
And flashing lights accenting every move
The simple thought of flying would
Make my stomach sink further than it probably should
But then I met you
My joy and taboo
Safely on the ground
Easily found, but 400 miles away
When long distance relationships are mentioned
All conversation stops in the dining room kitchen
Because they’re seen as unreasonable
But how could it be unreasonable
If when I was with you,
I felt grounded,
Like I could do anything
So of course, I was confounded
When after one weekend spent
In your presence, feeling content
I got the courage to ride a Ferris wheel
This escalated to using escalators
And in return my stair climbing endurance wavered
But I never felt safer
And then, you had to go home
Which brings on the feeling of being completely alone
Because before,
I had something to look forward to
I actually knew when I was going to see you
My time was spent counting down days
Just for a weekend stay
That ended in more tears,
Than when it began
I can only compare it to mourning
Except you were still alive
But it felt like you’d never be returning
And I wasn’t ready to say goodbye
See, people handle loss in a number of ways
For me, it was like I was in a mission-oriented haze
Suddenly I found myself
Climbing the largest buildings
None of which were fulfilling
Cause it was all wrong
I spent 200 dollars on amusement part tickets
Trying to remember how you felt for even a minute
At the top of the tallest roller coaster there
I remembered how the glow of the Television
Reflected off your hair
And even if I have to skydive to cling to the rest
Lord help me keep my heart in my chest
Because I need to remember you
400 miles doesn’t seem so far
roughly 7 hours just to get to where you are
only 2 hours and 12 minutes by plane
but the fact that I just considered flying is absolutely insane
and though I thank god for the size of the earth
for what’s it’s worth,
I wish it were smaller
I know It’s bad to wish the days away
because we only have so many
but in your absence, I feel like I’m dying
and that light at the end of the tunnel makes it
worth trying
Not the metaphorical tunnel that is mentioned
In hopes of suicide prevention
But the one in Baltimore
That drowns out all noises except for the mp4
That keeps me grounded for 7,650 feet more
Saying, “Sarah, I love you”
And I’m scared I’m gonna remain as lonely as I feel right now
But I’ll see you this summer if God allows
So even if I have no idea what to do
yahoo answers will probably come through

The author's comments:

This is a spoken word poem about my long distance relationship. I wrote it in order to capture how I felt when we had to part ways after meeting for the first time, in hopes that others who've experienced the same thing wouldn't feel so alone. I hope you enjoy. 

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