Will it always be this way?
If so, I am done. I am out.
I lie in my bed staring at the ceiling
and recall these words:
"I will always love you, ladybug.
No matter the distance.
I will always love you."
I roll over and sarcastic me, Lizbeth, speaks,
"It is just how you have always imagined.
It's funny how life works. Trust yourself"
Lizbeth is right of course.
I knew.
Knew without a doubt the falsity of these words:
"We will never lose touch.
You are in my heart and I in yours, punkin.
Never doubt how much I care."
I roll again and look out at the open of my room, Rose, wistful me, speaks,
"It is true life works as planned sometimes.
But do not forget its surprises. Do not forget how you yourself came to be."
I laugh at Rose's jab
and see truth in her speech
but still I cannot validate these words:
"You are my everything.
All that makes my moon, my stars, my sun.
Marry me, marilinda."
I roll over and stare at the ceiling.
The hateful tears fall.
I had promised Lizbeth and Rose that these would never again fall.
Each says,
"Do not cry over a love lost."
"Do not cry over a love that will be again"
And I say to them,
"I will cry over a love lost.
I will cry at a dream's grave.
I will cry because of the new life absent of me"