Source of Control

Sometimes I get this feeling
This feeling deep inside
I want to cry
I want to fight
I want to do the thing I swore
I would never do again
And every now and then
This feeling wins
She said why dont I finish it
Sometimes I wonder why
But then I know why
I dont want to end up
Like all those gone
Thats why I barely
Grazed the surface
He shakes his head
Then did it himself
Because he thinks I will
Like him better for it
When it reality
I cannot stand that I do it
Myself
But I cannot bring myself
To stop wanting
No I do not want to die
No I dont want others doing it
Its my out
Its my source of control
I know she doesnt understand
Because her out is different
Hers is hurting her on the inside
Instead of the outside
Hers is not visible
We all have an out
A source to release our pain
Some just dont realize
What ours is
I know what mine was
Just take a guess





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