Life's Struggle

February 27, 2018
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What do you see when you look through my eyes?
You may see this nice, hardworking, creative, laughable, person that loves everyone
But while all that is true, do you know the real me?

A girl born from drug addicts, alcoholics, loveless parents,
you go through life wondering why Why me? your own parents don’t love you
Your mom spends days partying while leaving your two year old sister locked in a room by her self and no one knowing that she’s there.

Your parents throw there four children, the youngest being just a few months, out the window not once but twice because they don’t “have the money” or they just don’t feel like paying the rent…but what it is, is that you can’t keep a job and the money that you get you spend it on drugs and alcohol and everyday the tenant has to chase you down for the money that your responsible for.

Your mom and aunt doesn’t take care of their dying mom who has cancer and is trying to hang on and you all just let her die and took all of her money that she left for her grandkids.

You spend days wondering what would happen next? Would they sell you for sex because that would’ve happened if you stayed. You wonder why your aunt hits on you every single day when you’ve done nothing wrong. Its like she's punishing you for being alive and the worst thing is that most days you have to walk to school.

Your own father comes around when he wants something and you think it’s for you…but we all know what that was for.

You go see your mom in jail and you think she would want to see her kids and her mom but see says “I don’t want to see my stupid family”
Wow! “Stupid family”? But who’s the one that has like 20 kids and doesn’t know who the father is to any of the, who’s the one that let her mom die and didn’t “have time” to go out and get her medicine, who’s the one that nobody in the family loves because you wanted fame and wanted to be liked but spent years in and out of jail.

And you call us “stupid family”. I forgive my aunt because she’s out making a living, trying to do better. I forgive all the people that tried to let me faint. But I’m strong now. I have a new family that loves me. My great aunt that gave me a home a taught ma tough love , who taught me how to make it on my own without selling myself to some stranger like you did.

I have a a whole new world which I’m not throwing away my shot. I know what I want to do in life and what I want to make in life and that’s not like you but someone better.

That’s what you should see through my eyes.






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