It was not that long ago, if I recall correctly, perhaps back in March or April of the last year. Though as time ticks away all the dates begin to blend, clicking into one single, long memory, all with some sort of relativity… and this, this is the memory that made me.
Stepping through the red tinted doorway, I entered the hardest subject of the day, this time coming around once again systematic, predictable, and complicated. Physics. A truly peculiar beast to tackle, especially at such a young age, I could only be thankful that I did not have to attend the class in the morning. It was by the far the most interesting yet most grueling subject I had ever taken to date, every day the work would spring me awake, dedicated to deciphering all that presented before my feeble mind; every theory, equation, and mystery, mastery is what I seek. Something I never actively realized, I merely did it. Soon came a saga of information more perplexing than any that had come before. Quantum mechanics, a matter that breathed mystery, even when solving to prove countless theories, each answer only created more possibilities, more discoveries, more answers we did not have the tools to find, answers that may truly never be found. At least no one has, yet. Fighting this beast, being tossed into the deep where the pressure was far too great to ever attempt to swim, you have to adapt, or else survival would impossible, and the only option left is drowning. Here I learned it wasn’t the ability to float or swim that would get me through this arduous journey, but instead the power to let gravity take hold, and sink into the very matter that made up the foundations of the universe, breathing in the answers sand reciprocating them from the depths of the abyss. Slowly vibrating, changing the frequency at which information flowed through my mind. From this discovery I fell further, further into denser mystery, possibilities that held the power to erase everything… singularities, heavy pockets of gravity that devour light, holding them so tightly there is no possible way we could ever hope to see, a pocket of infinite wonder and mystery. A thing of power and beauty, a fallen star that now takes in the universe, on for them to disappear, never to be heard from again… and I wondered, if that fallen star was me. My mind simply another singularity, a once shining light that has collapsed, absorbing too much information just to survive, trying to take on the weight of the world, too much gravity, wondering… wondering why no one never seems to see or hear me. There simply may just be that there is no more light surrounding me.