April 3, 2009

Never to be found
Left to die
I see your face
Your eyes
I can hear your
Voice a
Velvet voice
that would make the honey bees jealous
Day and night
But you are not here
But none of that matters
But I am still here

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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

Shabanana said...
Mar. 17, 2010 at 11:22 am
I think this poem is really good but it would be better if there weren't so many buts.
KevinM replied...
Mar. 29, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Thank you for the criticism. i might revise it and take some out i can see that now that i look at it again 
Shabanana replied...
Mar. 31, 2010 at 7:41 pm
no problem. i know that i would want critism to my poems so that i can make them better so i try to help out others as well.
KevinM replied...
Apr. 16, 2010 at 1:42 pm

one line shouldnt have a but ( the line but i am still here it should be i am still here ( type o )


Shabanana replied...
Apr. 16, 2010 at 5:55 pm
much better but i would also suggest that you remove the but from "But none of that matters" 
KevinM replied...
Apr. 17, 2010 at 8:34 pm

yes that to i made a lot of type os in this one ( i have a new poem out the field it is one of my better ones )

still waiting on like 8 more 

Shabanana replied...
Apr. 17, 2010 at 8:40 pm
ok great looking forward!! would you mind giving a little helpful criticism on some of my poems? thanks -shana
KevinM replied...
Apr. 19, 2010 at 4:29 pm

my new poem broken glass is out YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Shabanana replied...
Apr. 19, 2010 at 6:35 pm
kool ill go check it out but please help me out with my poems!! thanks -shana
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