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Secret

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Alone,
with vacuous
eyes staring blindly.
Quiet, but for tumultuous
noises inside an already befuddled
mind. Silently, I sit, brow furrowed,
lost in thought, in an engulfing emptiness
that I have created, and I know that
I have a secret, and the secret is mine.



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This article has 37 comments. Post your own!

Anonymous_7 said...
Sept. 23, 2011 at 9:17 pm:
This is a cool way to write a poem. and a great piece of work. would you mind and check out some of my work? Thanks!
 
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EdytD said...
Nov. 21, 2009 at 7:40 pm:
Thanks so much! That really means a lot to me, and I greatly appreciate your comment! I'll be sure to look at your work!
 
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~*el-oh-vee-ee*~ said...
Nov. 21, 2009 at 9:51 am:
I can't stop reading this poem! it's so good! :D Talented alert!!!! :D *Favorites*
 
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S.E.M This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 7, 2009 at 7:01 pm:
Powerful. The last three lines were incredible! "in an engulfing emptiness
that I have created..." this reminded me of some of Poe's works, because of the element of madness/self-inflicted loneliness. It was melancholy and wonderful. Five stars!
 
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Passion03 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 6, 2009 at 4:01 pm:
Nice job
It really captures the essence of a secret
 
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Joanna said...
Sept. 1, 2009 at 7:55 pm:
'Ello! I'm glad you liked my photograph. It is, in fact, posed. This particular one is the "Your loved one is jumping off a bridge" scenario. I posted it, although my personal safety is being threatened by the poser, because I thought it was perfect how the background was blurred while she is clear. I have no idea how that happened. I am not a photgrapher.
I already commented on this once before and I just saw the comment you made pertainting to my remark. I admire the theory in... (more »)
 
EdytD replied...
Sept. 2, 2009 at 6:34 pm :
Thanks so much! And I think now that they changed TeenInk, it will show me when you reply, so that you won't have to reply on my poetry.
 
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Ruthey This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 31, 2009 at 5:15 pm:
hey!

you commented my poem yonks ago, and so i feel i should comment yours back!
i really like this, the way it is constructed, the way it gets longer on each line.
and i love the ending!
it is such a good decisive ending.
you really capture the uncomfortable feeling and insecurity of having a secret.
i always have difficulty with endings :(
 
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Inkspired said...
Aug. 29, 2009 at 3:05 pm:
Beautiful. Every word means something, it really makes you feel like you are the person.
 
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mallory14 said...
Aug. 27, 2009 at 1:13 am:
very very impressive!!!! keep wirting cuz your poetry is great
 
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sallyloco said...
Jun. 30, 2009 at 3:52 pm:
it was good. This is like free verse poetry from the ellen hopkins books somehow. It's very beautifly written.
 
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EdytD said...
Jun. 25, 2009 at 6:23 pm:
lol it's always more fun to put in words that are fun to use. it also makes it sound more impressive.

i used this form to show the growth of the secret - starting small and ending big.
 
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Joanna said...
Jun. 25, 2009 at 1:32 am:
I really like the form you used for the poem. In my opinion, secrets always take their toll, one was or another. But if I'm going to be totally honest with you, I like this poem mostly because you used the word "befuddle" in it. Awesomness. ^_^
 
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lovehate29 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 3, 2009 at 4:14 pm:
First of all, I want to say thank you so much for the comment and constructive criticism!It really helps! I appreciate it! Anyway, I like this piece of yours. Its short with a lot of meaning and I could feel it. Keep up the good work! And again, Thanks so much!
 
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Wolfayne said...
May 26, 2009 at 2:53 pm:
I like free verse personally, and don't really have fave poet. Poe is good, but I like his sayings better than his poetry. My fave is:
"All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream."
Don't ask me why. I just do. You, however, are much better than he is. You are different in your own special way.
 
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Alanna C. said...
May 15, 2009 at 7:44 pm:
this is pretty good . i like it . i like it, because we all know what's it's like to hold a secret . bravo, bravo ! :)
 
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banana This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 14, 2009 at 8:22 pm:
Wow! Your stuff keeps getting better and better!
 
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EdytD said...
May 11, 2009 at 11:49 pm:
kick3593, if you had read some of my earlier comments, you would have read that secrets bother me to no end. This is clear in my poem. Although you might personally feel differently, I feel that this much was clear, and that as you are the minority when you say that secrets are to be cherished, you should therefore not state this as a known fact. As I clearly state in my poem, a secret is befuddling to me and makes me feel alone and empty. Therefore, a secret grows and consumes me, and is most c... (more »)
 
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Amaranth said...
May 11, 2009 at 7:00 pm:
Nice, very Poest. Evokes emo thoughts. :)
 
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KICK3593 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 9, 2009 at 12:54 am:
Strnage how as the emptiness grows, the poem waxes. But I don't really see a secret like that. I think a secret is something you enjoy to keep. You prefer it, cherish it, make love to it sometimes.
 
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