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The dancing club

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THE DANCE CLUB

All I can hear is stomping on the floor in
a nice melody.
All I can hear is music
playing from the band.
All I can hear is laughter and joy.
I hear the Charleston.
I fell love
in the air.
I fell soul
in their hearts.
I fell happiness
in their brains.
I am the Charleston.
‘Cause were ever the
Charleston goes
I’ll be there



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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

Jessie4736 said...
May 18, 2009 at 11:53 pm
idk wat the charleston is but i like the poem
 
WWAce92 said...
Apr. 28, 2009 at 1:31 am
bro it is only a bad poem if you make it one. I like it. It does need work and you know what that poem of mine that you read "stupid society" I had rewriten 15 times. Keep working on it. The thing is if you want to be a song writer you have to hold the Idea keep writing don't lose your site on the page keep a look out for beats and rythems let it flow like a good techno song or a good rock tune. don't go fancy I did simple and easy language everyone knows. I only gave it a natural rytheme ... (more »)
 
Green_Eyed_Irish said...
Apr. 23, 2009 at 11:02 pm
Hi Mikal! I actually really like this poem. I do, however, agree with EdytD. It could be much improved if you took the everyday words, such as 'nice' or 'joy' and dug up the ol' thesaurus and got creative.
Also, I believe you meant 'feel' not 'fell' :)
 
EdytD said...
Apr. 21, 2009 at 10:33 am
hey, it's not that bad, honestly! It could be a great poem; what I would do is take the vague comments such as a "nice melody" and instead give more concrete imagery like you do in your poem about life - tell something that the readers will be able to relate to. Also, just on a grammatical note - were ever is spelled wherever. ;)
 
Mikal said...
Apr. 18, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Can everyone read my other poems?
 
Mikal said...
Apr. 18, 2009 at 6:33 am
Check out my other poems
 
Mikal said...
Apr. 18, 2009 at 6:28 am
This is my worst poem! Pleases check out my other poems! They are better!
 
Mikal said...
Apr. 13, 2009 at 1:45 pm
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