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Living my own life

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Like a nail screwed in a wooden plate.
Like a fish swimming in a lake.
Life means nothing if not full
of life.
So I’m living my own life
living my own life.
Life is a broken glass.
Can you fix it?
Like a star in the galaxy.
Like a stage in a studio.
Life means nothing if you say so.
So I’m living my own life
living my own life.
Life is a burning cat.
Can you save it?
Make your decisions
for the hour glass’s sand is falling.



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This article has 5 comments. Post your own!

cocoa.cars This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 4, 2009 at 7:58 pm:
that sounds like it could really be a song, i can easily tell thats what u want to do. i agree with the other person, you should maybe add to it and make it longer, and maybe explain some of your metaphors so that the listeners can relate more. good job!

oh and everyone it qould be really awesome of you to check out my poems cuz i love getting comments!
 
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Victoria G. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 25, 2009 at 6:24 pm:
I liked it a lot. Seemed like it could easily be turned into a song, if it were a bit longer. I'm interested in what beat the chorus would have.
 
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EdytD said...
Apr. 21, 2009 at 10:30 am:
it's neat - I liked it! Only thing is, if you want it to be a song, you might want to make it a little longer. But I loved the comparison -the burning cat is definitely not one I've heard used often! ;D
It sounds like a song, though - the rhyming and repetition almost give it a beat already.

I'd love if you checked out some of my poetry! thanks.
 
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Mikal said...
Apr. 13, 2009 at 2:08 pm:
I need ur comments!
 
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Mikal said...
Apr. 13, 2009 at 1:44 pm:
Send comments
 
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