Today...

March 24, 2009
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I thought each time that I tried
It would get easier to say goodbye
But every time I see you I take a moment to sigh
With out you now, every second of the day seems to move too slow
So into the river of tears I’ll go
To find my happy place and maybe take the time to grow
Into a stronger person I’ll try to make
No matter how long it takes
I just think my heart needs a break

But I guess God didn’t think so
Because since our goodbyes that feel so long ago
Today we made eye contact
The only thing I wanted to do, was jump in my backpack
The only place I could cry
And no one would ask why

I tried to hide my sorrow
But maybe I’ll have a better day tomorrow
Your eyes looked just as pained
And your heart was probably telling you
That you were also insane
All we could do was look away
And hope the other person didn’t notice
We were no longer having a good day
I hope you didn’t notice my tears
And hear my say I’d rather not be here

I’ve finally come to accept how I feel
And it’s that I still love you
That my friend is real
I loved everything you did
Mostly that you still acted like a little kid
You may not have always spoken your mind
But I could see in your eyes
That it was always kind
With every moment we had
You some how managed to take my breath away
All these memories rushing back make me unbearably sad

I remember having happy dreams
But only mean do they now seem
For my heart wishing you were here
When I was sick
You’d be the only person I’d pick
To make me smile
I didn’t care if I’d have to walk eight hundred miles
Or be on my death bed
You had the numbers I wanted to dial

I remember when I first started to love you
Even when I told myself not to
I should have listened to my heart and brain
So that at least now I’d feel a little more sane
I remember us at the movies
With your arm around me
As if nothing in our surroundings
I remember waking up with a smile upon my face
And my heart beating at an abnormal pace
Now between us there’s too much space
When I looked at you today
I knew I would never feel okay
But today when the cold, piercing rain touched my skin
It felt much better than my heart stabbed by each little sorry pin

I cannot really say you deserve too much heart break
But for me, forgetting you won’t be that easy
So I hope your next girl friend is sleazy
So somehow you’ll feel what you’ve done
Because no longer do I look forward to the bright, warm sun
But rather to cry in the rain so no one sees
What you’ve really done to me
Because under this shirt
There is way too much hurt

I just need to know what I did wrong
I know I can’t fix the past
But right now my heart only sings sad songs
And I don’t like to remember our lasts
But rather our firsts
And how it was each other we used to thirst
But now from tear I just might burst

So to you I plead
Stop acting like you hate me
Because it’s something my heart just refuses to take
For both our sake
I think we need to forgive and forget
Just be friends
And start all over again





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