The color black, the scent of vodka. A dark, dark night. My memories became a blur. But that was not an invitation. There is no invitation. Yet you invited yourself anyway.
Morning sunlight, groggy eyes, the horrible realization. What happened last night, they ask? I am too afraid to answer. You’d never think, I never thought, I would be that girl.
But here I am. Broken. Powerless. Sworn to secrecy. What will happen if I tell? Don’t, they say. But I have a voice, and I must be heard. I will not be silenced.
I am wrong. They are right. I tell them what happened, the words fast, hurried, blurred with tears. And they look at me, right in the eyes, and shake their heads.
“There is nothing we can do.”
The lies they tell are sharp and prickling. They almost hurt worse than what happened that night. They act like it is my fault.
Why would I bring this upon myself? Why would I do this? How can it be my fault?
They do not ask. They do not care. I am alone. A boat in the middle of the ocean, slowly, slowly sinking. Blue and black blend together, turning to midnight.
The sun might never come again. I am trapped behind the barbed wire of their words. Of what he did, and what they said.
I am lost. He is not. He smiles at me. He knows he has gotten away with it. He knows he is powerful. He knows I am not.
They turn a blind eye. They look away. They fill their head with their lies, they force me to believe them. Watch me sink, watch me trapped. Nothing.
You look me in the eyes and tell me I am powerless. I dare you to tell me that is okay.