Oil streaked daisies cover the wall
You’re standing outside my window
And I just watch the rainfall
The sweet lilac winds play with my hair
My words and even my thoughts

I sit there sipping tea, as if I didn’t even care
I’d rather fix my attention on the ladybug
Crawling on the hardwood floor
Or the white lilies in the Mason jar

The simplistic beauty in something so pure
The thought of your smile wakes the butterflies
Though I have to force myself to hate you
Or else I’d simply die

I’d rather be alone and hate you
Then be alone and always cry
So as you sit outside my window
I’ll be alone and cold inside

You’ll be out there in the rain
Trying to ease your way into my mind
But I wont let you; so I just sit here and smoke my cigarette
Letting my heart remember the things bout you I just can’t forget

The whisper of sweet nothings that made me blush
The years and years I was your biggest crush
The way you twisted my sanity until, I was vulnerable in your arms
The millions of memories, listening to you sing every song in the car

The way you made me smile, the way you made me feel
The butterflies you gave me with every touch; so foolish to think it was real
The complication in your every single move
Pull me close; push me away whatever it is, you chose

Then I think of your eyes
And how easily you fooled me
With every single one of your lies
Maybe letting go would be easier

If you’d just walk away
It wouldn’t be the first time
I’ve fallen to my knees, tears filling my eyes as I pray
For god to help ease this pain

I can still smell you on my sheets
I can still feel you in my veins
I can feel you inside of me all broken apart
I can feel you in the vessels that carry you away from my heart

I can feel you as my aorta rises from the left cavity
I can feel you form an arch and then extend down into the pit of my stomach its depravity
I can feel you crawling underneath my skin
I can feel you in my soul, like loves the eighth deadly sin