True Happiness?

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If you truly loved me,
Then why do you make me so sad inside?
If you want me to succeed,
Why do make everything so hard?
If you want me to feel loved
Why don’t you let anyone love me?
God,
I’m not mad at you,
I’m hurt,
I see everyone else around me looking so happy,
Doing what they want,
And doing it all so smooth and easily,
Then there’s me,
I hurt everyone around me even when I mean well,
I try my best at everything and I still fail,
I put my whole heart into every friendship and relationship,
Just to get it crushed,
Everyone around me keeps telling me that you have a plan for me,
When will that plan begin to be good?
When will all of my disappointments in life become things of the past?
Why did you make me so different?
Why me?
Why do you love every one else around me?
Why do you show them their way?
And then there’s me,
A lonely little girl
Living in a world that lies,
Cheats,
And steals from others,
Just to get what they want
This world is a lonely one,
It always has been for me,
I see all of these people around me,
With lives full of joy and love,
And yet they still want more?
And then there’s me,
Someone who’s joyful,
Happy life has never really been there,
It has all only been an illusion of the mind,
I’ve never been truly happy,
Though I see all of these people who say they are,
Is it even possible for someone to be happy?
Truly happy?
If so,
I know that’s not what you have planned for me,
So I’ll sit and I’ll wait for a day that might never come,
And I’ll try and be patient,
But it’s just so hard,
When deep down I know it could never happen,
There will never be a day in which my true happiness will reign,
So I’ll sit and I’ll wait in this noisy abyss you call life.






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