Because I Can't Explain In Person

July 11, 2017
By Anonymous

I want to explain what's going on in my mind.
Some days are great, some days are awful. Most days start of pretty good, but I'll be quickly reminded of what doesn't make me smile. The smile I had becomes the smile I knew because I just had to go and think about you. You hacked my brain and tore me apart, because you decided you may want to just take what little was left of my heart. You destroyed me and haunted me and ruined my life, but all you can say is that distance and depression are the reasons you could never see me as a wife. You won't even try because you don't really care, but I hung onto every word like a single strand of hair. You told me it would be okay, and that everything would be alright. We'd work it out, and come together but you said this out of spite. You left, felt sexual tension, and claimed you didn't want me to feel bad, but now I feel worse because you remind me everyday that we can never have what we once had. You saw the beauty in me and believed in us, but little did I know, you were just waiting for me to leave for 20 days on that damn bus. The bus drove away and I was scared out of my mind, while you went to Tokyo and went to a concert to see what you could find. You claimed you needed space but you wanted to make this work, the next you said "don't blame me, I was drunk," with that dumb smirk. That smirk you always make when you tell me something I don't want to hear, regardless of knowing I have always had an open ear. You hid things from me, lied to my face, and claimed everything was okay, but even with an open door policy, I'm the one who had to pay. I'm the one who sat and asked if anything was wrong, but you said "nothing" over and over like a never ending song. You lied, you broke me, and left me behind like an abandoned piece of art; now all that's left of me is one depressed and confused broken heart.

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