It starts with invasion.
Invasion of the mind and body.
Invasion of your emotions and soul.
Then comes curiosity.
Why wasn’t I good enough?
Did he really mean the things he said?
Were we really in love?
The lottery starts next, you don’t know what emotion will win.
Until you do.
You feel sad he left.
You thought he would never leave,
That he would keep his word and promises.
You thought you were in love,
But you were actually sad.
Sad and in love with the memories of when he made you happy.
Or maybe anger.
Maybe you’re angry that it was so simple to make you happy and he couldn’t see that.
Maybe it’s the fact that you spent months telling him things were wrong,
That you knew something was wrong, that you didn’t feel okay.
And he brushed it off, ignored.
Ignored you and your pleading for help.
Maybe you’re disappointed.
Or maybe you expected this.
Maybe your heart hurts because you thought things would be different.
Maybe things are and you just don’t know it yet