lovelorn
/’l?v,lôrn/
adjective
    unhappy because of unrequited love.
    Synonyms: love sick; pining; languishing; spurned, jilted, rejected, forsaken
“this is a collection of poems about my experience and feeling of lovelorn”

 

The Beginning

The Beginning

Writing about
past memories
is always the hardest.

Because you have to write
about the
happy times
that are
no longer part of
your reality.

I think it is just
a bit easier
to write about
the beginning of
the ending,
instead of
the beginning
of us.

Because writing
about
our happy memories
makes me
fall harder for you.

And, I can’t let that happen.

So,
writing about
our ending
is much easier
since I don’t have to
pretend to be
okay with it.
You Love Love

I am done wasting my tears on you.
You aren’t worth it.

Whatever we had is obviously gone,
so I’m done trying.
Even if you called me 50 times and told me you loved me,
I wouldn’t turn around.

We went our separate ways and it’s
time for us to move on.
But, it’s hard for us to move on if  one of us is
still in love with the other.

However, the truth is you are just in love with the concept of love.

You Told Me

You told me we should just stay friends.
I told you I couldn’t do that,
at least not right now.
So I left and you didn’t stop me.

Neither of us expected for things to end
this way.

But this is how things should be…
This is how things have to be.

Mine

Right now.
Right here.

In this moment,
I am giving you
a small piece of
my reality.

And
this small piece is
my heart.

I am trusting you.

Right now.
Right here.

In this moment,
I am trusting you
with
a small piece of
my heart.

Every Time Part 1

Every time I think about you, I can’t help but smile.

Every time I talk to you, I am automatically happy.

Every time you touch me, I get goosebumps down my spine.

Every time you look at me, I can’t help but wish that you’d kill the silence.

Every. Single. Time.

This happens every single time.

2.3 Seconds Part 1

I think it is interesting how in 2.3 seconds, we can go from being so close, to being strangers. The only thing that we now share is the pain of what we can’t forget. Maybe the pain is here to remind us of all the good times and not the bad. Because somehow, the best memories hurt more than the worst.

The jealousy I have is all because the happiness that you once gave me, you now give to someone else. And knowing that we are strangers, it hurts a lot less than knowing we were once something more.

The Middle

The Truth

He told me I was special and I believed him. I believed every single word that stumbled out of his mouth. And I still do. Why? Because I know I can’t handle the truth. And the truth is, he doesn’t care about me, he never did.

My Reasoning

You couldn’t seem to grasp the concept.
The concept that we could no longer be friends.

The thing is,
friends can become lovers.
But
lovers can’t become friends.

No matter what,
one person will
still be in love
with the other.

And somehow,
in 2.3 seconds
we managed to go
from being something
to being nothing.

However,
the truth is that
we aren’t nothing.

We are just two strangers
who now share
forgotten memories.

Always

Always.
We will always be something.

Whether it’s as friends or as strangers.

We will always be something, because darling,
we were never nothing.

The Exit

The exit is this way, to your right.
I am showing you how to leave, so please
don’t tell me that you want to stay.

If you forget what we had and realize how
toxic we are, you will see the door up ahead.

Down this hallway you will see all our memories
that you need to forget.

If you look down towards the floor, you will see what happened and
why I need you to exit.

You are walking in a burning building.
It’s a pretty familiar building.
You saw it every day and never noticed that it was
burning.

The thing is,
I am the burning building.
And the exit is this way.

History

History is in the past.

So, try not to worry about it.
Okay?

The thing is…
You and I,
we are history.

Which means there is no need to
worry about me.

Because I am history and history is in the past.

My Biggest Mistake

My biggest mistake was
basing all
of my
happiness
on one other
person.

When he left,
everything that I once
thought of as
my happiness
was no longer mine.

When he left,
I was reminded that
I am too hard to love
and
I never should have
let my well being
depend on
him.

The Ending

2.3 Seconds Part 2

How am I supposed to move on? Especially after this and everything that you put me through?

How am I supposed to continue with my life, knowing that it took you 2.3 seconds to stop loving me?

How do I know whether or not 2.3 seconds is all it will take for someone else to stop loving me, just like you did?

What I’m Losing

Because of you,
I’m losing parts of myself.

Parts that I once thought were essential to my well-being.

I’ve lost the part of me that contained my childish wonder.
I’ve lost the part of me that held my fear of the dark.

I’ve lost the good and bad.
The black and white.

So now?
I am here and there, with everything in between.
I am the gray area between the black and white,
I am what is within the lines that you have yet to read.

I Know

I know you are not
upset and that
you don’t regret
any of your decisions
that relate to
us.

I know you don’t
stay awake,
late at night,
wondering what things would be like
if we never had that
one conversation
on that
one night.

I know you are sorry things turned out this way.

And I know that I should be the one who is sorry.

Sorry for ever thinking you could care
about me
when I don’t even care
about myself.

How To Fall Out of Love

A little girl asked me, “How do you fall out of love?”

I told her that
when you meet someone
and suddenly you see
the galaxy in their eyes,
the world in their heart,
and the peace in their smile.

You see all the good that there is to be offered.

However...

In the galaxy, there is a lot of unknown.
In the world, there is a lot of destruction.
In the peace, there is a lot of chaos.

Once you begin to see,
the evil and good,
it’s your turn to decide
whether or not what you see is
the good in all the evil
or
the evil in all the good.

And, if you see the good in all the evil,
bravo, that’s love.

But, if you see the evil in all the good, that’s when you start to fall out of love because you begin to let the bad outweigh the good.

But, it’s for the best because darling, because he or she should always be the yin to your yang.
Their good and bad should fit perfectly with yours.

When you realize that they aren’t your yin, you start to fall out of love.

Every Time Part 2

I don’t know why

but,

every time I see you,
every time I think of you,
and
every time I hear you.

I can’t help but break down,
because
you are still my whole world,
but now I’m not even a piece of yours.

Another Moment

The way your eyes clash,
they make me feel
as if you are from
another time,
perhaps even
another planet,
another moment.

I can’t seem to
remember you.
but,
I also can’t seem to
forget you.

So, by saying that you’re
from another moment
is the only way
to describe
how I feel.

Damaged Goods

Damaged goods.
What are damaged goods?

I am damaged goods.

I know it.
You know it.
We all know it.

I use to be so full of stars and planets.
I held the universe in the palm of my hand.

But, then you came along
and
you noticed
the cracks,
the rifts,
and the edges.

You saw that I wasn’t
holding the universe
and I wasn’t
full of stars or planets.

I was full of broken promises and forgotten memories.

And you saw that.
You saw me for me.
So, thank you for accepting who I am.

But you left without saying goodbye and now everyone can see me and my damaged goods.




Epilogue

Fall In Love

You have to
fall in love
and
fall out of love.

No matter how much pain it brings,
let it happen.

Because darling, it’s all worth it.