I’ve got these voices in my head
They yell at me,
And speak the words that should be left unsaid.
I know you have the best intentions,
Scars and cuts,
I promised you I learned my lesson.
Right now I want to be not okay.
Let me stop trying,
I just don’t want to stay.
Let me stop fighting,
I know it’s never going to change.
So let me just give up,
Let me just let go.
This is not good for me,
I’m just trying to let everyone know.
I don’t want all the goodbye’s,
And reasons why you think I’m alright.
You never listen to what I say,
Don’t treat me like you understand,
Because you will never feel any of it my way.
Always hearing, “keep your head up,”
But will this feeling ever change?
So I step up on the chair,
Tie the rope around my neck
And jump down into the weightless air.
My world begins to blur out,
And I realize I’m starting to lose this game.
I wished someone would’ve held me,
While it felt like I was breaking
And not let me be lonely.
Please someone know how to save me!
Now it’s getting harder to breathe,
I’m feeling really scared.
I’m experiencing my last moments of this life,
And I couldn’t be more unprepared.
Before I shut my eyes,
Just know this, Mom.
I wish that you could hold me
In your arms one last time,
As I lie here and die
I just really want to say
“I love you and goodbye.”