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An Apology To My Body This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

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After my mother shook my thighs, I started skipping meals.

I believed my mother was jolting Jell-O.

But she wasn't jolting Jell-O.

No.

What my mother did was shake a mountain.

A mountain that has a river streaming through, because when my girl touches my thighs, its like water.

Pure.

Still.

And when that stream creeps up

to the ruts and ridges on my hips,

Dear body,

I am sorry for dismantling you.

I am sorry for taking my aggression, anxiety, depression out on you.

Dear body,

I am sorry.

I am sorry for squeezing you into my jeans,

For only paying attention to the size written on the seams

For sucking in the pits of my stomach

Wanting them to be thinner.

Dear body,

I am sorry I got your lungs so panicked you coudn't breathe

Causing you to wheeze on the shower floor

Banging fists on doors

Only hoping all oxygen gets cut off for good.

Dear body,

I am sorry for wishing you didn't exist.

Or for me not to exist.

Dear body,

I am sorry I let him peep through the leaves on your tree,

He didn't look at you like the wild wonder that you are,

No.

He only saw flesh.

Dear body,

I am sorry I didn't realize sooner,

You are not just skin

You are an adventure I live in.

Mountains.

Streams.

Beautifully stitched together by the seams.

Dear body,

This is my apology to you.






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