Light a Fire

March 19, 2009
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What soft light, a frozen rose gives off;
on a desolate pathway to our
mind; our soul.
And the sun drenches us;
with its flame kissed rays that
light a fire within our body.
What a day tis is to sit and watch,
the swirling amber of these
Flaming leaves.
A snap of a dragon en-cages us
like a puppet of mind.
Tis flame is beast like yet warm and
the words of which it speak,
is like a flame;
That lights a fire
Within us.

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lexi said...
Apr. 12, 2009 at 6:58 pm
i love this. but there are a few parts that need some work.
1.'what a day tis is to..' the tis sounds out of place. i suggest this or a it after is if the first one doesnt work.
2.'a snap of a dragon' i dont know what that means. a little clarification or symbolizum would work great.
3.'like a puppet of mind' maybe should be like a puppet of it's ensnaring soul/mind. just sounds awkward.
4.'tis flame is beast...' maybe... beastly yet warm and k... (more »)
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