March 19, 2009
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I never considered this. Never pondered over the idea. It was a reality beyond my reach. Now I was smothering in it. Never wishing for it to take me this far. Never wanting to lose myself in the process.

I got everything I had wanted, lived it up the way I had wished but every second only brought more doom. Every touch only brought more pain. Even if I didn't know it yet I could feel its presence sauntering through the shadows of my former self.

I never regretted the decision that opened so many doors to this new self. I would have never thought this was my life, this was the plan set out for me. But the longer I drown in its insanity the more I realize it belongs to me. The more I can feel it creeping through my mind like a temptation licking at my pleasurable needs.

When adventure comes knocking at your door you don't run and hide under your covers. You welcome it with eager arms. But you could never understand, never consider the shadows that followed its presence. Everything good must have evil and mine was finding me.

Like a shadow behind every door it hunted me with anxious hostility. And the horrible thing about it, the worst part of this new me, is that I was anticipating its welcome. With eager arms I invited it in, completely leaving my former self to shrivel and die in that old reality.

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