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letter to dad

By , garden valley, CA
If you were blind how would you know if it was me standing in front of you?
Would you recognize my voice, my presence, my smell, how would you know it’s me?
You have lost me and I am struggling to be found …
Everybody always says “my daddy’s my hero”
I sit and think???
I wish you were mine
I sit and cry
Why aren’t you mine?
Do you love me?
Do you love them more than me?
Why am I the outcast?
Hate is a strong word,
But that’s the only word I can think of when I think of you
I sit dark in my room every emotion coming into one
I am numb with pain and hurt
A sense of gratitude comes over me when I think of my children and how I will be better than you
It seems like you don’t try, you don’t care
Do you?
If so then show it.
My mind is telling me that I need you, want you... Like I should be a part of you in some way
But my heart says that its too late, im grown enough I don’t need you anymore
All of my firsts you were never their for: my first bike ride? My school plays? My first days of school?
Where were you all those days?
I am grown now
I can make my own choices
And ive realized that I don’t need you, ive never needed you
So I am now listening to my heart and letting you go
I love you but I have to let you go.





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