Anger

April 3, 2017

Anger takes up most of my mind
The rest is mostly useless facts
Empy space
Or 23 ways to die
But I suppose half a percent of my mind
Maybe even one percent on a good day
Is filled with happiness
But that slim ammount is
Hard to find
Like a needle in a haystack
Or the smallest sliver of a
Blade of grass
In the middle of winter
Covered in months of dead leaves
Snow, melted and refrozen again
Discarded trash
And maybe even some dog poop
If you're lucky
But that's just a small portion of what goes on
In this crazy run-down factory inside my head
That specializes in madness
Sadness
Anarchy
Disfunctionality
Regret
Pain
And misery
Oh, but don't worry
You'd never know by looking at it
My emotions are like a chameleon
The outter appearance can
Change and disguise itself
Into something that it's not
In the blink of an eye
You'd never even know that I've started to cry
The outside puts on such a show
But no matter the genre
No matter what role I play
I'm still the same inside
Day after day
No matter the masks and the makeup
The hurt will never change
This anger is wrapped
Around me like chains
Sometimes they'll be cushioned
Covered in fluff
Sometimes even feel
Soft to the touch
But that's just a facade
Chains are still chains
And I'll never be free
Freedom?
What's that?
My life's been handed to me
On a silver platter
But I don't like the meal
And there's no reorder
I've put chains on my mind
Now others are putting
Chains on my life
It's mine to live
Isn't it?
Or am I just playing
Someone else's puppet?
A stupid doll
Worth a few bucks at best
Always having someone control me
A little bird
Never allowed to leave the nest
No use for my wings
So I traded them for a soul
But the merchant was the Devil
And eventually I'll pay the toll
I think this soul came with a faulty GPS
There's only one route
And the destination is death
Headed toward success?
U-turn up ahead
Life's going alright?
Too bad take a left
A left
Everyone left
I'm left alone in my thoughts
I'm left alone in my head
It's a scary place
One big maze
No way out
No chance of escape
So I sit there
Trying to make sense of this life
But what's the point
When life is endless strife?
And of course there's the anger
Still boiling inside
Raging and roaring without any rest
I'm a bull
The world is a matedor
Standing unaware
In a bright red vest
Everywhere I turn
Everything I see
Just adds fuel to this fire burning in me
Burning everything in a 10-foot vicinity
I'm a landmine
Don't step on me
I'm just waiting to explode
If I don't let it out
On myself I might implode
Add it to the list
It'd be number 24
With this fog of anger blurring my vision
It's hard to see
That there could be anything more
Is there more?
Or is this as good as it gets?
My life's a two-star motel
Not a penthouse
I couldn't afford the rent
But why rent when you can buy?
Pay it off as you
Grow old
And have a jolly good life
I wish I could
But the Devil's toll is taking out my time
Spent my whole life angry
Should've saved it instead
Do I regret it?
Maybe
I'll find out when I'm dead
But my mind is mostly anger
Only half a percent joy
If you ever cared
Don't cry
I'll see you
On the other side






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