Dear "Other Me,"

It's been awhile since you've reared your ugly head. and pushed your frightening thoughts, anger, and tears into the light. It's been a long time since I've had the chance to come into contact with you, but you are me. I'm grown now, but you're still there, always inside me, always just below the surface. I can feel you seethe when I think of our father, and I can feel your heart break every time I see our son. You always were stronger than me, keeping me safe. You've grown quite a bit! You're not the little girl I remember you to be. But she's still part of you, the same way you'll always be a part of me. 

I'm sorry "other me" for always putting you last. I'm sorry for feeding you with hatred and anger. I'm sorry to see the twisted, bitter creature that I can see that you've become. I'm sorry it has taken so long to write, the words seem to have muted in my mind. You've grown so quiet "other me," is everything alright? You used to make me feel so much, too much, but I don't blame you, it was my fault you felt what you felt and I'm sorry.

You surfaced not too long ago, I cried in my kitchen upon our reunion, I'm not sure why you surfaced but you did, and I handled it, barely...

You were so angry "other me," what made you that way? What made you squeeze my stomach so hard I almost threw up? Why did you make me cry so hard into a pile of dirty dishes? Why did you try to break me apart so completely? What's wrong "other me?" Why won't you talk to me? What can I do to ease your pain the way you've eased mine all these years? I'm sorry I've been so absent, please, please, I beg you, don't be to angry with me. Please stop sending me thoughts of death, please stop drowning me in sorrow. Please smile, you're beautiful too, in your warped and anrgy way. Be the beautiful whirlwind demon I know you to be. Please, "other me." I'm ready to face all those feelings you've sheltered me from. Please, join me in the light.

Love,

The 
Manic Girl