Never Had It

September 26, 2008
By
I never had that life some people experience... the mother the father the big brother or sister... i had to grow up fast living on my own.. learning how to be a women when i was only a little girl.. some people will never understand how it feels to not have a family who cares, not have a mother who teaches you how to do your hair and your makeup, or a dad who teaches you the right boys to date and how to throw a football, when you learn everything on your own you feel so alone, but still you make excuses to make it seem like your normal... you tell others they dont understand and that your mom is going through hard times thats why she hits you and makes you cry... you tell them that your dad never knew how to be a father so its ok when he doesn't feed you dinner or buy you new clothes for the winter.... sometimes i wish i had wat you had.. that life where everything i wanted happened.. not the superficial life where i was a spoiled brat but the life where i had a stable head, some new clothes, and food in my tummy every night or whenever i was hungry... i wish i could say that i love my family but what family do i have? i have lost a lot of friends because of opening up my eyes and realizing im done making excuses for them too.. its ok that they treat me bad because ive been friends with them for a while and thats just who they are... no im sorry its not exceptable any longer.. im done.. and the excuses are gone.. im me and im me for good.. no one can change that... i have no mother no father because those who had me dont know me dont know how to be a real family... ive got all i need now.. some close friends and a family who isnt blood but who excepts me for me.. who knows who i am and who cares for me .. love is the best way to keep living and with the love of my one and only my life is fresh and im ok... behind closed doors i am sad when i am alone.. but with him my life is fine and i am happy.. ive been through alot and ive been tough through it all.. and in the end because of him ill never have to say im lonely again





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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

Michaela S. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 29, 2009 at 1:28 am
one word... wow!
~peace love and happiness~
 
psycholinzmeier said...
Mar. 28, 2009 at 11:57 pm
i can relate to u. ik how it feels to have a broken childhood. im glad ur life is better now.
 
ily <3 said...
Mar. 26, 2009 at 5:07 pm
i really enjoyed reading this piece but if this is true or something that is gooingon your life right now i highly suggest tat you dont get too attatched to this guy dont think that he is the only one that cares enough to make you feel not lonley. Because if one day he does leave then that will only hurt you more because you will think that first it was your parents and now the only one you thought that you could rely on fully and depend on. but yes this was very moving.
 
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