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My Host
It stings when you put your cigarette out,
Like it burns when you fill your mouth to drown the doubt.
I was supposed to dull the only light inside you.
Please stay, let me thrive from your beauty, let me show you the way.
We both knew she didn't love you.
You know I do yet you weep for her.
I competed with demons for your affection.
You said you loved the way I admired darkness,
But you hated me for exposing you to a doorless room of it.
You did this to yourself! See I pushed you but you were the one that slipped and now you are leaving me.
Pretending I don't exist.
Practicing my absence in your laughter,
We both know I'm not too far from the back of your mind.
Your tasteful experiments of pride poke at me.
People come and go shifting through the endless snow.
But I am always here you see,
And you will always come back for me.
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I was inspired to write this while I was walking through the city one day. I saw a man who stood out to me, not because he was clearly without a home, but because he was the only person who did not have a sign that indicated he was a part of the march for refugees (which had been my reason for going into the city that day). This man sat silently while I watched everyone cheer and march toward the capital building. He pulled up the sleeve of his coat to and started to scratch his heroine bitten arms. It seemed there was nowhere left to stick a needle, they were so red. As I marched for the refugees I caught myself continually glancing back to this man, and wondering what had driven him here and what his story was.