I am 10
10 years old, that's when it restarted up again. Many years dry suddenly collapsed into a million pieces. The sound of shouting all the times that yelling and arguing about the same things crashed and collided into each other like waves during a storm. Doors slamming, feet pounding, tears falling didn't hide the life that was true. The reality of everything that happens seemed like something unnoticed. Restlessly tossing and turning night after night just trying to hide from the noise of a family deteriorating in two.
I am 11 then 12
Now the bashing of waves and crashing of tears fade. Collapsing became replacing and replacing became rebuilding, shouting became mute, slamming, pounding, falling became silent. Restlessness turned to sleeping. Life goes simple. A family that was torn and worn to oblivion can only repair itself to a point until it shatters and deteriorates over. Restless nights are far behind us but only to a point before breaking, silentness is only temporary.
I am 13 14 then 15
alcohol induced dreams and long stretches of rebuilding off again on again. Waves would crash then waves would settle. Slamming would stop
then slamming would start. A rainstorm raging onto the roof of a household barely hanging onto itself.
on again off again
I am 16, 17, then 18
a million pieces
turn to tiny shards
that get swept up.
What was once one is split in two.
Waves turn to silk. Its calming sound of smoothness. Off for a life of semi peace. No matter what. Not simple but not to hard. Broken to a point that can be fixed.