When you think Britain,

You think tea
And if you’d care I’d like to share,
How this came to be
So let’s venture to whence this began,
In the 16th century.

An officer of the East India Company
Wrote of china so;
“They boil leaves, their mind reprieved,
A drink to cure their woes
With colors of black, green and burgundy,
To china we must go!”

In love Britain fell with China’s brew
Emptying their silver in trade
Immediate infatuation led to complication,
As Britain saw their wealth fade
They needed to trade something new,
Or in bankruptcy they would wade.

Britain knew nothing sells like drugs
Opium is the key
In the spirit of the Norse, they opened ports by force,
Metric tons of drugs by sea
The profits then spent so England could glug
On their precious tea

Word spread of the King,
Sweetening his cup
Sugar was the rage, so they enslaved
Africans, chaining them up
India is given the task of tea making
As Britain’s wealth erupts

The world almost conquered in full
In pursuit of a drink.
Seeing civil war, they said slavery no more
Britain used their total rule
As a tea production ring.