Handwritten MAG

September 20, 2016
By cammie_k GOLD, Boulder, Colorado
cammie_k GOLD, Boulder, Colorado
11 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present." -Lao Tzu


Some letters have a pulse.
I can tell these special ones apart by the way the paper breathes and the way the C painted
on the envelope curls around like a gentle wave.
I know that handwriting with my eyes closed.
Your words are like a window into the apartment across the street. For a second the curtain is pulled back and I see a little bit of your soul.

I see the worn couch where you sit to count
the tiles on the kitchen floor and pick at the stitches in the leather.
You count the seconds on the clock but your lips are moving too fast.
The cup of tea you made to calm your nerves
sits cold on the kitchen counter.
You are dissolving.
And when you glance at me I catch reflections
in your eyes.

I am floating in the waves of your writing.
For a moment I can feel your heartbeat before
the current pulls you away.
If I could send you healing in the mail I’d write to you every day. But for now all I can do is
say I’m sorry for your loss.
And once I wrote back
to tell you that I miss you –
I sent it to my own address.

The author's comments:
This piece is about the pain of feeling as though you have lost yourself. Mental illness can make a person feel hopeless and lose their sense of purpose. Some people write poems (letters to themselves) to help them remember who they were on a certain day. Over time, these poems become glimpses into the events of their life.

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