The things that happen in our lifetime tend to put an input on our future choices. The experiences we go through determine our view on things, that may make it different than how others see it. Sometimes we can relate to what others are going through at that time because we’ve been through it and we understand. This is the start to the destruction of people; their experiences.
When I woke up on my 17th birthday I was expecting to get a message from you. I don’t know why I was expecting one since I had not heard from you in 6 years but for some reason it was different that day. When I got up I brushed my hair, brushed my teeth, did my makeup, put on my black cardigan with my favorite sparkly grey scarf, ate the pancakes I made the night before, and went off to school with Joe driving his Jeep (The White Stallion). When I got to school the first person I saw was Andrew, he told me I looked nice and happy birthday then gave me a hug. Everybody I saw that day told me happy birthday.  During A block we had a Veterans Day assembly for all the veterans that lived in the area. It was a pretty nice day at school that day. Joe and I went home after that. When I got home, I went inside and sat on my bed contemplating weather to text or call you to see how you were doing. Dad and Lauren got home an hour after we did, they said we were going out to eat but it was a surprise. I got in the back of the Mercedes with Joe sitting next to me. Dad was driving, I thought we were going to Shi Chi’s like we do every year but we didn’t. Dad pulled into Longhorn Steakhouse, we had never eaten there before so I was kinda excited. When we got seated, we ordered an appetizer of pretzels with beer cheese and honey mustard, it was delicious! I ordered the prime rib sandwich and Joe got the flo’s filet. For dessert we got the molten brownie, it was this huge brownie that had a scoop of ice cream on top with oozing chocolate in the inside of the brownie. It was so rich and chocolaty. After dinner we went home and I got ready for school the next day. When I woke up the next day I still hadn’t gotten a message from you, the day at school was slow. When I got home at dinner Joe said you sent him a message saying “Happy birthday, I love and miss you!”. I was kinda upset about it. Why would he get a message but not his twin sister? Why even send a message anymore? You didn’t even add in the message saying something like “tell Ashley I love and miss her too!”. Nothing, I don’t know why it still bugs me so much, but it does. I have tried so hard to block you out of my head and here you were again. I didn’t and still don’t know why I still care, I guess I thought that with time it may have been different, but clearly it wasn’t. After that day I started writing more and more about you and how I’ve tried to forget you, but it’s not really helping anymore. That day I learned that people won’t change no matter how much you wish they did, your past doesn’t have to impact your future as long as you don’t let it, and you can’t fix everything before you fix yourself. Things will upset you everyday and shape you into who you are from this moment on. I probably will never be able to forget you, but it’s the fact that the things that you made me think and the things you did to me will never be okay, I think about it everyday but that’s just life I guess. I’ve been shown that you can move on from big impacts on your life, you just have to always look on the bright side of things.