Some “Cool” Advice

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Eddy! I have to go to class! Stop pullin' me! Ow! Your hurting my arm! Let go! Eddy! Eddy please just let go! EDDY!!!!

Okay fine! Just hold on. Wudya stop sqermin' already and listen? Look, I knoh you don’t wanna skipp class or wayst yer stoopid time listenin’ to me when you could be doin’ somethin’ ...uhh...what's the word...

Productive?

Yeah. Producktiv... like homwork but if you wanna be cool then ya just need ta listen up…..

Okay. Fine. Just don't make it too long...

Fine. But don't yoo rush me....Okay...now....
My mawto is…..
Some kids ‘re cool.
Some kids start out uncool and then git cooler.
And some have no clew what hek thay're gittin’ them selves intoo.
That’s what Shakespeer said…..

No he didn't!

Well, he SHUDA!!! Anyway…….heer’s the storey…..

Ugh.....

Shut yer darn trap Tommy or i'll do it for ya!

Okay okay just hurry up....

Amy came to my scool 4th grade yeer and we wern’t really what you’d call friends.
The guys had one look at her, came over to me, and sed,
“That girl’s not cool enuff to be on our end.”
Then they started pickin’ on me so I felt sorta bad for her in the end.

Ugley, annoyin’, fat, and borin’, we cawld her lotsa stuff.
One thing that we loved to do was get her mad and call her “Fluff”.
She yoosed to try and kick us all, to make herself look tuff.
The guys wud just laff at the poor wimp, and then they’d get real ruff.

By 5th grade she’d got priteyer and she’d always ben real smart.
The others defnitley notised and desided to give her a fresh start.
From then on things were real diferent and she was at the top of the chart.
In 6th grade, she dated Henry Bennet, he cheeted on her, then she toor up his hart.

She makes things real akwerd when she puts on her fake face.
She’ll be smilin’ at you, then next thing y’know, she’ll be wisperin’ to her frend, “He’s a mentul case.”
She always gets uncomfterbol when you’re too much in her personul spayse.
She hates it when just one little thing is slitely outta playse.

She pretends not to beleeve ‘em when the guys say she’s hot.
You can tell that she likes it an’ likes it a hole lot.
She dosn’t want peepol to think she’s a big shot.
I want the old Amy back, the one everyone’s forgot.

So heer’s the end to the trajic storey and a prawposishin just for you, Buddy.
I knoh you wanna tell somone ‘bout this, but if you do I’ll make yer life cruddy.

But.....

No but's....If you wanna be a cool kid just like me then listen to the plane Inglish I’m speekin’.
I’ll make you cool and yu’ll have lotsa friends, if you c'n jist keep that huge mowth from leekin’!!!





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