Sweet Breeze

February 23, 2009
By Wolfy DIAMOND, Huntsville, Alabama
Wolfy DIAMOND, Huntsville, Alabama
71 articles 0 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
A room without a book is like a body without a soul.


Sweet breeze,
Stirring the trees,
With so much ease,
Never-ending,
Always moving,
Bear us some coolness
While, none-the-less,
We will wait
For you to create
A sweeter coolness
For us
As we hike
In the likes
Of nature.



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This article has 2 comments.


Wolfy DIAMOND said...
on Aug. 14 2009 at 3:45 pm
Wolfy DIAMOND, Huntsville, Alabama
71 articles 0 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
A room without a book is like a body without a soul.

This isn't one of my best ones, I know. I bored when I wrote this, and I was 9 years old, so I didn't know half as much as I do now about poetry and short stories. I totally agree with you.

Joanna said...
on Aug. 13 2009 at 11:46 pm
Joanna, St. Catharines, Other
0 articles 0 photos 165 comments
I like the quick rhymes you used in this, but I wish there was more of a pattern with them. What I mean is, "Never-ending, Always moving" look kind of out of place, as does, "A sweeter coolness For us". Also, "None-the-less" is a wee bit awkward. I really like this, but it could be so much more refined with a little tweaking.


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