Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Sweet Breeze

Custom User Avatar
More by this author
Sweet breeze,
Stirring the trees,
With so much ease,
Always moving,
Bear us some coolness
While, none-the-less,
We will wait
For you to create
A sweeter coolness
For us
As we hike
In the likes
Of nature.

Join the Discussion

This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Wolfayne said...
Aug. 14, 2009 at 3:45 pm
This isn't one of my best ones, I know. I bored when I wrote this, and I was 9 years old, so I didn't know half as much as I do now about poetry and short stories. I totally agree with you.
Joanna said...
Aug. 13, 2009 at 11:46 pm
I like the quick rhymes you used in this, but I wish there was more of a pattern with them. What I mean is, "Never-ending, Always moving" look kind of out of place, as does, "A sweeter coolness For us". Also, "None-the-less" is a wee bit awkward. I really like this, but it could be so much more refined with a little tweaking.
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback