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A Crystal Day

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It started out normal. Life of just another person. A life that was just taken for granted. Well life isn't what you really thought it was. Life is just a big joke. I just want you to know that everyone is all on their own. All on your own. Life is only pain all put into a series of random events. Well you walk alone. So very cold. Nothing thats not painfully abnormal. Just wait. What do we all see. A once in a life time chance to see. Slowly ever so slowly you see your life in that crystal ball. Fantasys never real. Pain oh so true.Its just life. Why is it here no one cares? Putting on the burdons of life is your daily campaign. Just look one time. Outside nothing is heard of the sorrowful screams you make. Only the crystal day is reflected in your crystal ball.





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EmC725 said...
Jan. 26, 2010 at 4:10 pm
lovely job! I agree, the structure is a bit challenging to read, but I like it that way. Even though some of your sentences are complete and others aren't, it kinda works out well. Good emotion! It's dark!
 
ShernayB. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 19, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Great!
if you have time, will you please check out my work. Comment and rate if you wish. Thanks!
 
Jatavion said...
Jan. 14, 2010 at 9:08 pm
I liked the poem itself, but I do have a suggestion for structure. The way the poem is set up right now, it looks more like a story than a poem. I loved you use of repitition, that was excellent, but structure could definently use a little work. All-in-all though, good job :) 4 stars
 
Imagination! replied...
Jan. 29, 2010 at 4:37 am
i agree that this looks kinda like a story, but its amazing anyway.
 
TheWrittenHeart said...
Dec. 20, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Shannon, this is really insightful. Great job!
 
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